updates

I have checked off one item in my needs-list. Last Memorial Day we went to Carlsbad Honda and leased an Odyssey LX. I had asked my parents to pray for us that we will be able to get a new car to fit all of us. And I have prayed as well, especially for us to have a salesperson who will understand our needs and get us a deal that will help us. And we did. God answered our prayers. We got Nick from Honda and he was the one who suggested to lease-to-own. He bought our Murano off our hands. So now we are in a minivan. Chris is happy, he feels that we are not crammed anymore especially the kids. I feel happy too and more comfortable driving it because its not too high. Its lower that our former Murano and higher than my Corolla.***We had a good Memorial Day weekend. Although we didn't do anything spectacular but we went to Kidsville that Sunday, then we went to the Carlsbad Outlet Monday the time we got the minivan. Then Tuesday Chris had put himself on a holiday, so we had another day with him, which was great. It was a good weekend.***My friend Mira's situation is not getting better. She is in a point now where she just want to accept anything to have her family back but her husband Dexter just doesn't want them anymore. I shed a few tears with her when she said "he doesn't even care for his kids anymore...he is not the husband I married"...She said that she is looking for a lawyer, I told her that's a good idea because the lawyer will look after her needs much more objectively while she deals with her emotional upheaval and take care of the kids at the same time. I encouraged her that the CA law is in her side and she should take advantage of it.***I have accepted that marriage is fragile. It is not a matter of lack of trust or even insecurity to be vigilant and protective of the integrity of one's marriage. Anyone can fall and do something really stupid. So, as I am vigilant I am also not forgetting that I have hobbies and things I want to do. Last Saturday I attended 2 photo workshops by Christian Michaels at Digital Photo Academy at North Park District in San Diego. I attended first a 2-hr class in Composition, then a 4-hr class on Intermediate level - a beginners level on DSLR. I had a great time and I felt my itchy fingers loving the shutter again and my photographic eyes are waking up again. So I have resolved that I make an effort to continue doing my hobbies, to not lose myself in a marriage that is fragile. I do sound very pessimistic though about marriage but really I'm not, I'm just watchful and accepting now. I know only God can spare a marriage from dissolution but He cannot force feelings into someone either. ***Chris is still communicating with Tillie. He told me to ask him anything about it and he will tell me, their conversation and what-not. I don't agree with their renewed friendship but there is nothing I can do about it. He said that nothing is going but just talking to her about family and marriage. I will have to trust my husband about this. But my resolve is strengthening about not losing myself in my marriage. And this includes not feeling guilty about not having a clean house, not being a good cook, being tired and going to sleep ahead of Chris and being my weird self sometimes.